Alan Hardy

JUST OUT! LOVE AT WAR! Alan Hardy is UK-based, and a director of an English language school for foreign students. He is married, with one daughter. He has now written fourteen novels. They have been described as surreal novels with plenty of comedy, satire, humour, romance, sex and adventure. They're shocking, original and respectful of nothing and nobody. You have been warned. He is also a poet (poetry pamphlets: Wasted Leaves, 1996; I Went With Her, 2007). The thirteen published so far are LOVE AT WAR (just published), THE NAZI SPY, THE NAZI DOUBLE AGENT, THE CASE OF THE TATTOOED BUTTOCKS, THE CASE OF THE PINIONED BOSOMS, THE CASE OF THE DISAPPEARING CORPSES, THE CASE OF THE TORN YELLOW SOCKS, VAMPIRE HUNT, BRITT, GOOD QUEEN BETH, JULIA, GABRIELLA, and THROUGH THE GATES. This is what Alan himself says about them: THE NAZI SPY and THE NAZI DOUBLE AGENT (the first two books in THE NAZI SPY MYSTERY SERIES) follow the adventures of Fiona, a rich, spoilt Scottish landowner, now no longer in the full flush of youth, and Matthew Manfred, an officer in the Royal Air Force, handsome, alluring, and much, much younger than Fiona... Sparks fly, not just romantically, but against a thrilling, gripping background of treachery, spies, betrayal, and even a nation's survival as England faces potential catastrophe in the early years of WW2. There are enough twists and turns to keep you giddy as you hang on to the edge of your seat, trying to work out who is to be trusted, and who is on whose side, and who you should be rooting for... THE CASE OF THE TATTOOED BUTTOCKS, the first book in THE INSPECTOR CULLOT MYSTERY SERIES, is a cheeky, exciting murder mystery, with plenty of thrills, surprises, witty repartee, suspense and sexy ladies, let alone a couple of gory murders. The story takes place in a country mansion, with an assembled array of suspects (a mixture of the rich, decadent, sophisticated and louche) who are all perhaps not quite what they seem and hiding God knows what secrets... Even the renowned Inspector Cullot, with his occasional fits of dark despair, and now working in a department store's lingerie section, is tormented by ghosts from his past... And does the bumbling, simple-minded PC Blunt, recording another Inspector Cullot case for posterity in an array of note-books, also have skeletons in his cupboard..? And do the unsolved Night-Club Hostess Murders committed two years earlier have a bearing on the case? And what about the strange tattoos on the buttocks of the gorgeous ladies assembled at the mansion? What does it all mean? You'll die laughing trying to find out. THE CASE OF THE PINIONED BOSOMS is the second book in THE INSPECTOR CULLOT MYSTERY SERIES, and follows the hilarious and spell-binding antics of Cullot and his Team (Sergeant Watkins, PC Blunt and Cullot's gorgeous daughter, Stephanie) as they set out to nail the killer following two gruesome murders in a hotel in the Swiss Alps. THE CASE OF THE DISAPPEARING CORPSES is Book 3 in the series. Who killed PC Blunt's gorgeous ex-wife, and is Inspector Cullot himself implicated in the baffling disappearance of dead bodies all over London? Another riotous, cheeky, gripping mystery... THE CASE OF THE TORN YELLOW SOCKS is Book 4 in THE INSPECTOR CULLOT MYSTERY SERIES. In VAMPIRE HUNT, Dr Joseph Aymon returns to Transylvania where he used to accompany the famous vampire-killer, Professor Van Helting, on his vampire hunts. Joseph is out to prove the existence of vampires; he can't wait to come face-to-face with the Undead. He also aims to find Bella, his one and only love, who disappeared years ago. Will he find redemption, his lost love, or plain, unadulterated horror? THROUGH THE GATES is a time-travel novel, with the hero (or anti-hero) Mark travelling back to the days of World War Two. He lives in an old house with a big, mysterious garden where he keeps unearthing and discovering objects which draw him back into the past. He's also obsessed with a beautiful young woman he saw when very young, and his attraction towards the past, and journeys into it, are also an attempt to find her and discover who she was. Eventually he comes to feel that the future of the universe more or less depends upon him and his actions. It's a time-travel novel that's totally original and different from all others. Plus there's a fair bit of love interest, and sexual shenanigans as well...so action, romance, mystery, time-travel...it's a great mix. Not to mention the gold bullion buried somewhere in Mark's garden... GOOD QUEEN BETH is a no-holds-barred savage attack on the monarchy, 'celebrity-bimbo-culture', and reality TV shows; it is totally non-PC in its attitude to the state of the nation, the monarchy, sex, women, anything and everything... Be prepared to be stimulated, shocked and appalled. It's quite raw in its depiction of sexual deviancy and perversion, but allies this with an exciting portrayal of a modern revolution, and, let me tell you, a great love-story between its main protagonists, Beth and Jason. BRITT is set in France during World War One, and is a comic, exciting tale of derring-do, spies, aerial dog-fights...and sexual shenanigans...with officers, and ladies, of a dissolute disposition and sexually experienced swagger. Ahem! Need I say more? In contrast to this world of sexual abandon and experience, we have Wriggles of the Royal Flying Corps and Britt, his childhood sweetheart. Both are innocents in a world they don't understand, and can't relate to. Britt, in particular, is close to being mentally unhinged...and yet, with a devilishly cunning German spy ring about to escape with top-secret information that might well bring about England's defeat, they are England's only hope. Oh, and there's also a great love story that unfolds heartbreakingly between the two of them... Will they be able to save England, and find true love...? Or does death and madness await them in a world dominated by Germany and its depraved supporters? I think GABRIELLA is a story that's been buzzing around in my head for years, and it demanded to be written down. Adolescent love (and teenage fascination with sex) is a pretty significant time and experience for us all. The idea of a love-story set around a school cricket match has its roots in an earlier pimply-faced version of me when at school and the scary, obsessive ideas that went through my adolescent head. When I sat down to write the story, it automatically turned into a bawdy, comical narration of a young man's faltering (though very sweaty) first experience of love and sex. But as well as being, I hope, a good, exciting read, I think GABRIELLA can also be seen as a critique of England's wretched class-ridden, monarchy-loving society. Check it out. As well as his poetry, Alan is currently writing and revising other novels, including BOOK 5 in THE INSPECTOR CULLOT MYSTERY SERIES. Watch this space.